“Just because someone carries it well, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.”

Just because they are doing well, don’t assume they are well

Statements that start with: there are two groups of people…are usually a sign of a lack of empathy (a highly debatable personal opinion). I do though, believe that it can be a good exercise in a healthy discussion, a one that you need to have with yourself. Mental Health Day is on the 10th of Oct (has been since the 90s), and like any other global awareness day, you either observe it or not. (In fairness I made the grouping statement at the end and not the start 😬)

A disclaimer: I converted late in my life. I never really cared about what brands and teams do on Mental Health Day, I didn’t put much stock in marketing campaigns and those press releases about what those teams are doing, why, and what for. Of course, some are done purely to ride the wave, but is it worse than neglecting it all together?

To be honest I did care, immensely, about toxic cultures, bad influences, disruptive dynamics, abusive and “bad vibes”. But as you mature, you realise this is not what this whole mental health concern is all about. In early 2019, my attention to this shifted completely, because I personally (discreetly) reached out for help. It was then when I realized how uninformed and unfair, I was, while also noticing how unprepared, and disconnected we are as a culture from this.

I invested a lot of time and energy speaking, learning, observing and researching how teams and markets have been dealing with this. I ran across an amazing set of people, initiatives, projects and cultures. I will try and maybe write a bit about that journey (still ongoing) in future posts. There are amazing leaders and teams out there, and there are some good people who just need to be a bit more informed only to start making the right thing.

Mental Health is not always a visible challenge for your notice, and if you are in a position of leadership, management, and decision making, parenting, partnering, you are in a position of responsibility far more important than you think. Not all mental health issues are related to you, to the workload, or even the environment you are creating. You might even have a team and an environment with no mental health issues (let me finish😜), you are then in a more advanced position to take public actions and promote this anywhere you can.

I’ll go back to the sentence I started this post with, which I read in an article somewhere else: Just because someone carries it well, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. Take care of your own, take care of those around you. You are not the expert, and you don’t have to be. Just because your team is acting well, doesn’t mean they are well. If your team is well, celebrate it, let others know it is possible.

It is Mental Health Day, make some awareness, even on a personal level.